Here’s my newest TIME.com column:
Wellesley High School families who’d come to graduation last week expecting a warm bath of clichés were treated to a bracing shower from David McCollough, Jr., instead. “You’re not special, you are not exceptional,” the English teacher stated with unexpected bluntness. “You have been pampered, cosseted, doted upon, helmeted, and bubble-wrapped, feted and fawned over.” McCollough’s straight talk was aimed at Americans’ “love of accolades more than genuine achievement” and the cheapening effect of making everything special. Many families apparently found McCollough’s reality check refreshing and inspirational; his speech quickly made the usual Youtube rounds.
But before we get too carried away blaming helicopter parents for sheltering teens, it’s worth recalling the merits of being special and why our society made such a shift in the first place…
Dear Ms. Christakis,
I appreciated reading your article posted on TIME.com on Tuesday, June 12! I agree with almost every point you made. I feel that even though students are not all that “special,” the extra credit or kudos can be motivating.
As a student myself, I would disagree with David McCullough, Jr. on his point that Americans prefer accolades over learning or achieving. While that may be true in a few cases, most people really do care about actually achieving something, and just want the title as a bonus accessory. On that point, I really appreciated your statement “Isn’t building a medical clinic in Guatemala- even if the motivation was, as McCullough suggests, ‘What does it get me?’ – better than not building one?” Your question posed here gives the reader a great point to consider. It also demonstrates exactly how I feel, because students that are obsessed with grades still have to learn to get those good grades.
Feeling special has definitely motivated many students, and I’ll admit that I am motivated to do well, not only for the recognition, but the fact that the recognition could help me in the future. One thing that wasn’t addressed directly in your letter was the fact that all these titles and recognitions are basically vital for being accepted into schools. Getting good grades or meeting certain qualifications can help students receive financial aid for college, and give students more options for the future. I feel this is another example of why feeling special can help kids be successful.
Thanks so much for writing an article that helped me think about my own opinions, as well as learn about others’!
Katya
Sophomore,
Worthington Kilbourne High School
Columbus, OH 43235
Katya,
Thanks so much for writing! You sound like an exceptionally thoughtful person. It’s great to hear from someone your age. Good luck in high school and beyond.