And THIS MONTH’S MEN OFF LEASH AWARD GOES TO…
Seriously, what a disgrace. Yes, I know I’m stretching the criteria a bit to include Mel Gibson but I’ve been holding back for such a long time – chomping at the bit, you might say – and it just seemed about time I gave credit where it’s due. I know, I know: he’s a sick man. Alcoholism is a horrible disease. And he’s got lesbian cred with Jodie Foster!
But abusing his father’s wife, for heaven’s sake? (who’s been married to his dad for ten years, mind you; we’re not talking a Grimms step-mother situation.)
I have to say, I never really bought the Mel Kool-aid, even though he is my demographic. I did see him in one amazing Australian movie, in 1980-ish approximately, Gallipoli, which I highly recommend if you are a World War One (or attractive heroic young man) afficiando. He was adorable. So affecting. The Year of Living Dangerously was pretty great, too. Does anyone even see that anymore? (It has one of the most haunting scores I’ve ever heard.) But then the bar fights and the buddy movies kicked in. And the 14 kids or whatever with his benighted wife – sort of Duggar-family on booze - and, man, did we miss how truly benighted she was. And then the bad hairdo in Braveheart, and that fizzy brew of violent, holocaust-minimizing catholicism. So appealing in an aging movie star! Who knew he had such dramatic ‘colors’ in his repertoire?
Leaving aside for a moment why women even care what kind of guy a movie star is in ‘real’ life (but you totally know what I mean, right?), I actually predicted the Mel Gibson devolution, in my usual weirdly prescient way, well before he officially went off the rails and started hurling pneumatic insults at arresting officers etc. etc.
Anyway, it just seemed appropriate to recognize Mel’s recent accomplishments and I hope no one objects to a little bending of the Men Off Leash rules, which I recap for you here:
The Men Off Leash Award recognizes:
…particularly baroque examples of public sexual meltdowns. This is not a judgment about fitness for public office/celebrity adoration/collective opprobrium blah blah, so don’t get your back up. Just havin’ a little fun here!
- All genders eligible (but gender equity is not a feasible goal).
- Garden variety infidelities and one-off poor judgments excluded.
- Priority given to chronic offenders.
- Bonus points for absence of self-awareness, betrayal of public trust, and/or extravagant hypocrisy. Nominations welcome at all times.