Apparently my life would be richer with Instagram. My kids keep telling me to get (an?) (on?) Instagram. I think it’s a graphical Twitter, which isn’t as illuminating to me as you’d think. This stuff confuses me. I was very irritated to learn that I can’t join the Pinterest community unless I have facebook. I don’t have facebook. I did for a month and got spooked by the privacy issues (Lol! since my life is an open book.) Mainly, I got spooked by my complete inability to do anything but search for old boyfriends.
So I wrote this anti-facebook ‘manifesto’ about why I was ditching facebook because it was creepy and taking me from my family and work commitments and so on and so forth. I posted it triumphantly and then – presto! – deleted my FB account, again triumphantly, but somehow not realizing that a) I was actually deleting my ‘manifesto’ in the process, so exactly one person saw it – my brother who just happened to be on facebook at that exact second before I hit delete and who has never let me forget what a loser I really am. And b) you can’t really ever delete facebook completely. They’re just lying in wait, like a virus, for a moment of weakness. So now, I just stalk my husband’s page when I feel like being a stalker and seeing everyone’s pictures and stuff. He’s a romantic guy and likes to tell me we’re “same soul/different bodies” and whatnot, but I have to say, trolling through his facebook and seeing him dressed as a polar bear and using teen slang with our children’s friends and musing about his writer’s block and diet coke urges etc., I don’t always feel 100 percent soul-matey. In any event…
What my kids are trying to communicate with this Instagram ploy is something along the lines of:
SHUT THE F-CK UP, MOM! (less talk, more photos.) (actually, ‘less talk’ works.)